Do You Love Me?
by MoonInLove07
Summary: "Sorry, baby girl but" he whispered, looking at her with sympathy "I don't feel that way about you" -Written by GeekGirl88-
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer ****I own nothing**

**Hey everybody! **_**Skyfall**_** is about to have an end, so I've decided to update this little prologue of my next story. Hope you like it. As always, let me know your opinions about. =)**

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Penelope moaned delightfully under her lover's kisses. He was really a man made for sin. And he was all hers. Her heart turned over.

Derek Morgan was not hers. He has been just a friend with benefits.

That had been fun at first, when they both were in that London's pub. Both of them were alone and drunks, hungry for sex. That night turned into more nights. And back at Quantico, their relationship continued with that dirty hidden side. No commitment. Sex for the sake of sex. Derek was her best friend, she was his bosom friend. What could go wrong?

"Derek, I want to talk to you" she whispered between moans, trying to put sanity to her speech.

"Can't we talk later?"He put his hand under her shirt, trying to distract her from her idea of having a talk at that very moment. "I want you"

She gripped his jaw, pulling his face away from the crook of her neck. Derek smirked at her, before licking her bottom lip "Are you sure we need to talk now?" he said, thrusting his hips against her core.

She could feel his hard erection brushing her damp center, and failed to stifle the moan that escaped from her lips. Penelope give up by a few seconds, her hands up and down his bare back. But soon, she came to her senses again.

"It's important" Penelope whispered, pushing his shoulders away from her body and getting up from bed.

She needed to put distance between their bodies. She needed to make clear the situation, although it may lose in trying.

Derek grinned, walking like a tiger on the mattres. He moved to the edge of the bed, keeping his bright smile. "Come play with me"

His hand wrapped around her wrist, pushing her semi naked body to the bed. Penelope released her hand with a frustrated sound. "I'm serious, Derek"

"Does this have to be now? Can't we fuck and then talk about everything you want?"

She smiled sadly, running her hand through her blond hair. Obviously this was just a game to him. Derek was so used to this kind of relationship...That was his daily bread. But she was madly in love with him. Like a fool.

"I love you"

She dropped the words, with a hint of stuttering. Derek frowned surprised, but still grinning from ear to ear "I love you, too, silly girl"

Penelope shook her head. "No, you don't understand. I really love you. I'm totally in love with you, baby"

She could see his instant mood shift. His expression turned serious. All trace of fun and lust it left his face. But mostly, his eyes were empty of love. Maybe empathy or even afecttion. But not love.

"You know how I am, Garcia" his sharp tone and the use of her lastname made her shiver. She knew it had all been a mistake, but still, her heart was not ready for so much pain. Her eyes began to fill with bitter tears. "I couldn't help it"

"You knew this wasn't a serious relationship" he replied, beginning to button his shirt, not bothering to put each button in their proper place. "I'm so sorry this hurts you. But I can't lie"

She closed her eyes, letting her cheeks get wet with her tears. "I know it"

"Sorry, baby girl. I'm so sorry but" he whispered, looking at her with compassion, "I don't feel that way about you"

Penelope saw him walking away and closing the door behind him. He didn't even look back at her. Derek didn't even seem concerned about her tears.

Reality hit her. She was just another woman in his bed, something insignificant, a simple toy. Yes, he was sorry because she was his best friend. But that was the only difference between her and other women. And it hurt like hell...


	2. Prologue 2

Disclaimer: **-I OWN NOTHING- **

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_AN: Hi everybody! Thanks for your support, alerts and reviews. It makes me a very happy woman =) _

_Here's the other part of the story, Derek Morgan. So this chapter is a sort of second prologue. I will continue with this fic when I finish the other one. _

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The first rays of sun seeped through the half-open window, tapping his closed eyelids. Derek growled slightly, not wanting to open his eyes to the real world. He knew better.

Wild sex and alcohol flavored kisses, they couldn't silence his conscience. All that sexy fun was no longer enough to satisfy his heart. That was the same feeling every morning.

He felt like a bastard, a heartless being unable to love any woman.

Derek got up from that unknown bed, which now seemed so cold. He dropped his eyes on the beautiful brunette, who was sleeping peacefully. She was so different from Penelope. The two women were like day and night. Aisha? Annia? He shook his head as he buttoned his gray shirt. He couldn't even remember her name.

Penelope flashed through his mind. Her smile, her sleepy kisses on the morning, her hot caresses giving love.

He felt his body shudder. She had such an effect on his soul, that it was almost scary. There had never been someone like her in his life. Nobody had come so close to his heart.

He enjoyed his time spent with her, he wanted to take care of her and make her happy. But was it love? Derek didn't have it all clear. And he could have tried, if she was not Penelope. He could have risked everything, if Penelope was not so important to him.

But not her. If Penelope shed a single tear because of him, he wouldn't forgive himself. Derek had experienced these situations too many times in the past.

He remembered their saddened eyes, expressions of pure pain. Women wounded by his bad love. But then, they weren't important. These women weren't essential for him.

He closed the door slowly, avoiding any noise. Goodbyes were unnecessary in situations like this. Derek was so used to such bed adventures, he not even felt remorse for his behavior. Anyway, they knew that it was nothing but a way to release tension. Just a one night thing.

Derek walked down the street, not really knowing where to go. He didn't know where he was, maybe somewhere near that club from the night before. "I need some coffee" he muttered to himself, looking around.

"Are you lost?"

That sweet voice, her soft voice sounded behind his back. Derek turned around with a big smile on his lips. Suddenly, the day seemed brighter. But then, huge black clouds covered his blue sky. She wasn't alone.

A tall man, with big brown eyes, was smiling at him. He couldn't help but frown. Who the hell was he? Why was his arm around her shoulders?

"Who are you?"

His voice was hard, as if he was asking for some kind of explanation. He knew he'd no right to be like that, but a unknown feeling was killing his common sense. Penelope gave him a warning look, smiling uncomfortably. "Morgan, this is my friend Sam"

"Nice to meet you"

Derek felt a huge desire to beat that poor man. Break his legs, rip that damn smile off his face. But despite all that feelings battle, he put a bright smile on his face and extended his hand towards Sam.

"Hey, I'm Derek Morgan"

"We go to eat breakfast" Sam said, still smiling. That guy was really irritating. "You wanna come?"

"Eh...yeah"


	3. Are You Jealous?

**-Disclaimer: I own nothing, not even Sam.**

_AN: Hi people! __My other fic is being edited, so I decided to write another chapter to this one. Enjoy :)_

"The secret is to melt the chocolate slowly, slowly"

Derek rolled his eyes up and shook his head, before taking a sip of strong coffee. Although the last thing his body needed was caffeine. Drinking a tea's big glass would have been a better idea.

It had been more than thirty minutes from their first meeting, and his desire to hit Sam up had not disappeared. Rather, Derek felt a fire within his body that forced him to grit his teeth, closing his fingers around the plastic cup. Not even the breakfast was delicious. That damn coffee tasted terrible.

"Well, guys," Sam said with a smile, as he grabbed his cream colored jacket. "I think it's time to go. The bookstore must be open in" he looked at his watch for a few seconds before raising his eyes to them "Ten Minutes"

"See you later?"

Penelope smiled sweetly at him, before giving a kiss to his cheek. She was really happy to have found a friend like him. Sam was sweet, kind and funny. He came into her life at a hard time, comforting her wounded heart.

Sam nodded slightly, before leaving the cafeteria. "Where you met this guy?"

She raised her eyebrows "Excuse me?"

"I asked you where the hell you met Sam"

Derek knew that he'd no right about her. He lost all his rights by breaking up with her. That night where he turned down her love. But yet he couldn't help but feeling angry.

Her eyes flashed with pain, her dark pupils staring at him "You're nobody"

"I'm still your best friend" he replied, without missing a beat. His features hardened "You're like my little sister. It's my duty to look after you"

She narrowed her eyes, releasing a sarcastic laugh "I didn't know you were into incest"

"I didn't mean it, and you know it"

"Screw you, Morgan" she snapped, filled with rage. His words had been a mortal blow against her badly hurt heart. All her fears were confirmed by his sentence. She was his best friend, a little sister. Nothing more.

Penelope stood up angrily from the table, knocking the plastic chair. She wanted to disappear, never see his face again. Cold tears began to get lost in her flushed cheeks, dying in the skin of her jaw.

"Penelope! wait!"

"Go away!"

Derek picked up his pace until he was inches from her. But Penelope kept going, ignoring his presence. "Listen to me, please"

"No, I no longer want to hear you!"

His heart twisted at her devastated face, her saddened eyes, her wet cheeks. He'd to get away from her. Penelope was an angel, and he... he was anything but an angelic being. "Forgive me"

"You know what?" she whispered, biting her lower lip. Her eyelids fell over her eyes slowly, releasing more tears. "You don't have to apologize. Everything, all this shit is my fault"

"Baby, don't-"

"Don't tell me something that I want to listen, just because you feel sorry for me. I don't need your pity"

Derek took a deep breath, running his hand over his face in true desperation. Penelope stood motionless before him, her eyes still wetted and full of pain.

"I never meant to hurt you, Penelope" he whispered, taking a step toward her. "I'd have preferred hurting myself"

"Do you love me?"

He swallowed hard as his heart was beating crazy, against his ribs. Her voice sounded husky, with tears. His words froze somewhere between his mouth and his throat.

Penelope not looked away from him, not even blinked for a second. She needed to face their own feelings. She needed the truth to on.

He grasped one of her hands, lacing their fingers. "Baby girl, you must know it"

"Answer me"

Derek closed his eyes. Not even himself knew his feelings. Everything was blurred within his heart, nothing was clear in his soul. He knew she was loved for him. But his mouth couldn't give the answer that Penelope wanted to hear, though.

With a faint smile, he cupped her face in his hands. "Of course I love you"

"That's not what you said that night"

He still found it hard to hear such bitter words coming out of her sweet mouth. She was like a fallen angel, wounded to death. A blasphemous celestial being. A light corrupted by darkness...

"I'm not in love with you, but that doesn't mean I don't love you"

For the first time in two weeks, Penelope smiled. She gently grabbed his wrists and pulled them away from her face.

"That's not enough for me, Derek." she said sincerely, without a hint of weakness "My love is too big"

"Pen, baby-"

"Let me finish" she gave a few steps back, moving away more of it "If you can't give me what I'm asking you, at least let me get on with my life"

Derek frowned, giving her a puzzled smile "What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about your jealousy" she replied flatly, crossing his arms "your constant dislike for any man who comes up to me. That look on your face when you see me dancing with another man"

" That's not true"

Derek snorted, shaking his head in disbelief. Penelope turned away from him, determined to continue her new life.


	4. I Miss You

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

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Penelope was grateful for that weekend free. She needed to rest, her heart needs to take a breather. Her turbulent affair with Derek had not been one of her best ideas. In fact, that was one of the biggest mistakes of her life.

But then, she never really thought he could react so selfishly. Derek was her protector. He distanced her from any possible harm, cared for her, treated her like a real princess. She came to feel like a princess between his sheets, under his hard body. He seemed to feel something for her. Apparently, her intuition had played a dirty trick.

She shook her head, feeling sorry for herself. Because the worst thing was not her heart being broken. The pathetic thing was that Penelope wanted to go back in time. She wanted to go back to that night and shut her fucking mouth up.

Derek had become a necessity for her, his presence was essential for her survival. With each passing day, her feelings grew stronger within her.

"Pen, open the door. It's me"

Sam's voice interrupted her masochist session. Penelope smiled faintly, looking for a wider smile to offer to her newly boyfriend. He was a good man. He was in love with her. He had always been crazy about her. Sam was almost perfect. A lovely, honest, faithful man. He didn't have an Olympic medal by jumping from bed to bed.

But he was not Derek ...

She took a deep breath, closing her eyes. The last thing Sam needed it was to see her tears. Tears spilled in honor of another man.

Painting a fake smile on her face, she opened the door. "Hey, sweet. Come in"

Sam gave her a gentle smile, leaving a soft kiss on her lips. But she didn't want his sweetness. She wanted to erase others hands, another mouth, another skin. Kill every memory, boot up his soul of her being.

Penelope placed her hands behind his neck, devouring every corner of his mouth.

He closed the door behind them, and let himself be dragged for her to the couch. "What's wrong?" Sam whispered against her mouth, while his girlfriend straddled his waist.

Her eyes were full of pure fire, her features hardened and a seductive smile curved her lips. "I want to make love to you"

Sam looked up at her in surprise, but it quickly faded from his face. His eyes glittered with desire, caressing her parted lips, her ample cleavage ... her hot look. Her mouth dropped again over his, kissing him aggressively, almost angrily. He tangled his hands in her silky hair. It had been too many years that he was waiting for that chance. And he couldn't lose it.

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JJ placed her forearm over her eyes. Insomnia really sucked. Not to mention those nightmares where some kind of zombie ran after her, vowing revenge.

"Who would send me to become a field agent" JJ whispered, talking to herself. Will was sleeping peacefully in the master room. "I was happier talking to journalists"

A car braked sharply near her garden. She took two microseconds to jump off the couch. JJ walked slowly to the door, with her gun hidden behind her lower back. After that crazy woman kidnapped Henry in her own house, she promised herself that no danger would return to stalk her family.

"JJ, I know you're behind this fucking door. Open"

She frowned, opening the door to her unexpected visitor. There he was in front of her, made a complete mess. His shirt was buttoned wrong, and he gave off a strong smell of alcohol. She blinked slowly. "You-You've been drinking?"

Derek was almost a teetotaler person, he just drank a shot when the team met in some club. He gave a sort of grunt and walked into her house. "No, although I have been trying"

"Morgan, don't get me wrong, but" JJ saw him flopping on the couch, turning off the TV. "What the hell are you doing in my house, half intoxicated, at this time of night?"

He raised his dark eyes from the floor and nailed it into the blue ones of her. There was so much desperation in his look, she really felt like hugging him. Derek Morgan looked like an abandoned puppy. But JJ knew better. Her friend didn't like physical demonstrations of affection too much.

In all the years that she had worked with him, Derek had never kissed anyone, never said I love you to anyone except Penelope. But then, Penelope Garcia should be the sweetest woman in the universe. She was the solace of the team.

"This is the last place I would like to be right now"

"Thank you?" she rolled her eyes, with a hint of sarcasm, crossing her arms "What's wrong with you?"

Derek swallowed hard and closed his eyes for a moment. How to explain what he was feeling in his heart? How to define something that even he himself did know what the hell that was?.

He was sure of his feelings for Penelope. But he couldn't be in love with her. He should not be. His heart sank in his chest. Bitter tears threatened to leave his eyes, taking him to the utter humiliation.

"Morgan" JJ whispered slowly, sitting beside him. Then her eyes fell on his wounds hands. "With whom have you fought?" she asked, not looking away from the small wounds on his knuckles.

"With a wall"

The blonde looked at him questioningly, raising an eyebrow. Derek smiled miserably, trying to drown his pain behind a forced smile. "Of course I came out winning"

"Why are you here?"

"Reid is on a date" he said, shrugging his shoulders, "Hotch is in New York, Rossi is in his cabin and Prentiss is in London"

She didn't miss Penelope's absence. Obviously, he was angry with his best friend, for some reason. "Why have not you gone to Garcia?"

"Because she was too busy fucking with Sam" he snapped, clenching his jaw. JJ stared at him, a question written on her face. "Yes, I went to her house. I have heard her moaning from the doorway"

"I'm sorry" she muttered, avoiding his gaze. JJ didn't know what else to say, she knew rather little about their affair. "But she is no longer with you"

"And I swear I didn't mean to bother you" he went on, ignoring her completely. "In fact, I went to my house to get drunk. But my hands were shaking so much that the fucking scotch has been spilled on my shirt."

"Morgan, calm down" she asked, when her friend raised his voice. Derek ignored her words, as he stood up angrily from the couch.

"To make matters worse, none of my 'girls' were available to me," he threw his cell against the wall, shattering the device "All these bitches were too busy to call me back!"

JJ felt truly sorry for him. Derek was a broken man, a prisoner of his own fears. Victim of his bad decisions. She decided to be silent and just listen. Maybe that was all he needed. Take all his frustrations out of his body.

He began to breathe deeply, leaning his back against the wall. "When I was three, my father gave me a teddy bear. I always slept with it, that damn bear was always on my side" Derek chuckled, shaking his head "My mom told me I couldn't bring it to school , and I cried every morning for that very reason "

JJ said nothing as he continued telling this anecdote from his childhood. He sat beside her, but his gaze was lost somewhere in the ceiling. She knew he only wanted to hide his tears.

"One day, I don't know why, I forgot about that bear. I started playing with cars and soccer balls. Till Sarah found it, hidden in a drawer. And you know what happened? Suddenly I wanted to play with that teddy, I wanted to sleep with it and take it to school. But Sarah didn't want to give it to me. And I did lose my teddy"

"Emm, Morgan" she interrupted gently, frowning at him "Are you comparing Garcia with a teddy bear?"

"No, but-" Derek buried his face in his hands, trying to collect his thoughts, feelings and fears. "I don't know what the hell is wrong with me"

JJ ran a hand through her blonde hair, really lost in the whole situation. She sighed deeply and got up from the couch "We all do things that we regret later" she shrugged, smiling sadly at Derek "But sometimes it's too late to apologize"

He nodded slightly, raising his eyes to the woman, "You think she's in love with that stupid?"

"That's not something you should worry about, Morgan" JJ replied, throwing a blanket and a pillow to her friend. He couldn't to drive home, half drunk and sleepy. Her couch was quite comfortable to spend the night. "The question you should answer is another one. Are you in love with her?"

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	5. My Best Man

**-Disclaimer I own nothing-**

_AN: __Hey, thank you very much for your reviews and alerts. Well, I wrote this chapter half asleep so apologize in advance for any mistakes_. _:)) _

_This chapter is more focused on Sam. I've noticed that he seems too perfect, so I decided to give him some humanity ... Everyone has a good side and a bad one_

_(LOL)_

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It had been two months since that fucking night and Penelope remained distant with him. From one day to another, he lost her. Not just as a woman but as a friend, too. Farewell to their confidences, their banter, their movie Fridays, their party Saturday Night and their Sunday breakfasts.

"What are you doing here?" Penelope wondered, never taking her eyes off the screen. She didn't need to turn around to see who stood in her office's doorway. A slight laugh escaped her mouth. She could feel his presence at any distance. "Do you need anything, Morgan?"

"Are you dating Sam?"

He'd gotten up that morning with the biggest hangover of his life. His head seemed ready to explode at any second, his eyes pounding behind his eyelids. But if there was something that hurt him more than anything else, that was the void that his heart was feeling.

Derek got up early, before sunrise. The last thing he needed was to meddle in JJ's family life on the morning.

With a big sigh, Penelope got up from her chair and walked toward him. She still felt shivers down her spine whenever he was around. His body gave off some kind of electric current, something that dominated all of her senses.

But she'd decided to move on, forget something which for him was as valuable as a piece of paper. Sex for the sake of sex. Fucking with your best friend. No strings attached relationship. A steamy hobby.

"You have something against him?" she asked challenging, crossing her arms, "Is there something what makes him look like a serial killer?"

Derek stared at those big eyes, losing himself in its immensity. Now it was too late for them.

"I ... I just" he ran his hand over his face "Can we be friends?"

Penelope squinted, looking at her ex lover with poorly concealed pain. She could no longer be his best friend, after what had happened between them. "Give me time, Ok?" she asked in a small voice, as her soul was split into hundred pieces "I just need time"

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_**-Nine moths later-**_

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Derek saw Sam sitting on one of the tables, taking a sip of his beer.

He didn't like that guy. But then, Sam was Penelope's boyfriend. So, when Sam asked him to meet at the bar, he accepted without thinking too much.

"Hey," Sam greeted him, with not even an artificial smile. "You want a beer?"

"No, thank you"

The other man fixed his dark eyes on his face. Derek realized that guy no longer seemed so naive as months ago.

Sam had been friendly with him so far, always had a smile on his lips. But at that moment, his little smile was full of sarcasm. His look was indecipherable, but so cold. Derek could see the tension in his clenched jaw and his closed fists.

"I want you to leave my girlfriend alone" Sam said sharply

Derek leaned his arms on the table. "Say what?"

"You're just showing off around, obviously trying to fuck her" he hissed, dropping his beer on the table "I'm sick of you and all those things you do to get a piece of her ass"

He gave a humorless laugh. Crossing his arms over his chest, Derek glared at his opponent. "You're telling me to stay away from her?"

"Yes, Morgan. Want you to let us living our relationship"

Derek shook his head slowly. A parallel reality crept into his mind. A world where he could pull the trigger on that jerk. A world where there was some kind of button that would let him go back in the time.

He stared silently at Sam. The other man swallowed, his eyes sparkling with something like hatred. "She is mine"

"She is not an object, man" he replied, raising an eyebrow. "Penelope is a woman, not your fucking car"

Sam narrowed his eyes, giving him a cold glare. "Yes, but it's MY woman"

His words stabbed into his soul, awakening his worst feelings. He was angry with her for having forgotten their love adventure so fast. He was angry with the man who looked at him with excessive arrogance. But above all, Derek was angry with himself. She loved him. But he spurned her love. And he'd someone to blame: himself.

But Sam had no right. She could make her own decisions. Of course, nothing had been the same. Penelope moved away from him a little more every day. But he still loved this woman with all his heart. For Derek, she was still one of the most important persons in his life.

"She's my friend, far more than my best friend" Derek blurted out "Penelope is like a sister to me"

"A sister whom you want to fuck" Sam said coolly, "Is not it?"

"What kind of guy do you think I am?"

"Someone who wants to take my girlfriend to his bed," he placed his forearms on the table, getting closer to Derek "Someone who wants to spoil my relationship, someone who would take the slightest chance to get his hands on his 'best friend' pussy"

Derek stood up in anger, shooting the chair to the floor. "You're sick" he spat out the words as if they burned inside his mouth. "You should control your fucking jealousy"

He laughed slowly at first, then louder, and finally calming his laugh before saying:

"Maybe you're right and I'm just a fucking jealous guy" Sam smiled crookedly, nothing like his everyday sweet smile "But she sleeps in my bed" He placed his hands on his nape, grinning at him "I'm sorry, Morgan. You lost."

Derek's jaw clenched tightly, his knuckles turned white in his clenched fists. A feeling of pure rage swimming inside his veins, his heart pumping pure hatred. "Fuck you" he muttered, before turning his back on his new enemy.

"Hey, wait," Sam shouted at his back as placing a paper on the table "You forget this'

He turned around and his eyes fell on the paper "What the hell is that?"

"It's your invitation to our engagement party" Sam smiled broadly, showing all his perfect teeth. He looked with satisfaction as Derek winced, all the rage turning into pure devastation. "Penelope and I got married the coming month"

"But ... she didn't ... Penelope didn't tell me anything"

Derek stuttered, feeling like a fool. He grabbed the invitation with trembling hands. His heart began to batting maddened, to the point that breathing was a little hard for him.

"She wanted to surprise her friends" Sam said, with a shrug "I guess you should tell her how you feel. You have every chance to be my best man"


	6. I Love You, Too

**Disclaimer: I own nothing **

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The coffee was shaking inside the small cup. She was doing the right thing, following the society rules: Meet a nice man, get married, have children. The cycle of life.

Penelope sighed, placing her potion of caffeine on the table.

Seventeen months ago, she had been unable to give a positive response to Kevin Lynch. The man who had been her boyfriend for almost five years. Now, she was ready to marry Sam.

Marriage. The single word made her feel chills along her spine. Her parents' marriage it was not a good example for her. Two of them were always arguing, throwing accusations at each other, practically hating that very person they once loved.

But that was her life. 'You are doing the right thing' she repeated to herself, trying to convince her heart that this decision was necessary.

Her place door slammed open, the wood crashing against the hard wall. Penelope screamed in panic.

Then she recognized his shape in front of her, his fists clenched at his sides.

He exuded fury from every pore of his skin, but his expressive brown eyes were tinged with sadness.

Penelope wondered why the hell Derek had not returned the key.

"What are you doing here?" she protested, slamming his hard chest "I almost had a heart attack"

"Are you really going to marry that asshole?"

Derek walked with firm steps toward her, slamming the door behind him. His gaze was wild, like that of a lion who is about to pounce on its prey, looking at her with such intensity that her knees wobbled.

Instinctively, Penelope gave a few steps back. She knew herself too well. "What do you want?" her voice sounded uncertain, almost afraid of his answer.

"What do I want?" he asked with a smothered laugh, something that died midway between his heart and his throat. "I think that is quite clear"

Suddenly, her body was trapped between his muscles and the wall. His hot breath brushed her chin, his heart beating so close to hers, she could feel every one of his maddened beats.

Penelope closed her eyes, releasing a deep sigh. Sam could give her many things. Stability, true love, a family. Derek, on the other hand, was the most exciting side of her life. Passion, adventure, unforgettable sensations.

"Don't marry him, please," he whispered softly, like a soldier ready to show white flag. He was wounded, broken, without hope to win that damn war. His mouth brushed her cheek, before settling on her lips.

She responded to his kiss, maybe with too much abandon. Her back arched viciously, crushing her full breasts against his chest. Her rational part reminded her that that wasn't right. She was acting like a slut. Actually, Penelope felt as excited as dirty. But none of that stopped her.

His hands tangled in her hair, thrusting his tongue deep into her mouth. A moan grew out of his throat, igniting all her senses. "You're mine" Derek growled in her ear, tying her legs around his waist.

"What did you say?" Penelope frowned, slightly annoyed. "You're like a spoiled child"

She avoided his surprised look, and began to push him away from her wanting. Oh no, not again.

"What is it?" Penelope blinked rapidly, trying to stifle her tears. He cupped her face in his hands, forcing her to confront his own eyes, "Did I do anything wrong?"

She smiled weakly, with masked pain. "You're here because I'm with another man"

"What are you talking about?"

He looked genuinely confused, shaking his head slowly. His frown deepened as he filled every corner of her heart. She couldn't lie to those deep, beautiful brown eyes. Not when they looked at her with that sweetness, full of love. The warmth of his gaze caressed her soul, soothing every nerve.

"You would not be here if Sam-"

"Woman, don't you dare finish that sentence" he said menacingly, raising an eyebrow. "I give a shit that jerk. Hate him with all my heart"

"You don't hate anyone" she said tearfully, leaving a kiss on his lips that he responded willingly. "You're a good guy"

He grinned at her, but his smile was miserable. "Not good enough, though"

Outside the apartment, heavy drops of rain began to fall. The sharp wind pushed the little flashes of water against the window.

"Here's my final blow" Derek peered out, before closing the window. "Can I spend the night here?"

Penelope swallowed hard and fell silent. What should she do? For God's sake, Derek Morgan was her best friend, not some psycho.

"Would you like a hot chocolate?"

Her pleasant smile made him feel good. For months, Penelope wasn't smiling anymore. Of course, she pretended her happiness from time to time. But he could easily differentiate her joy of her happy mask. "Yes, thank you"

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C-M

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Forty-two minutes later, and both of them kept silent. He lost his gaze in any corner, she focused her eyes into her hot chocolate.

Penelope looked at her friend sitting on the floor, his back against the lower part of the couch. His mug was empty, but he did not get up from the floor. He placed it between his feet, brushing his ankles.

She wondered if he really knew his own feelings. If he was so confused by his attitude as herself. Maybe Derek just was not used to losing. A basketball game, a bet or a woman. He was an alpha male who hated losing.

His deep voice broke into her thoughts, whispering what their two brains were thinking about "When we become this, Penelope?"

Derek didn't even look up at her, his pupils stuck in that dark corner of her living room. Penelope was lying on the couch, her brown eyes fixed on the ceiling.

With a heavy sigh and a bitter smile, she replied "Don't know. I guess in the very moment I opened my fucking mouth"

He chuckled, shaking his head. "We really fucked it all up, right?"

Penelope closed her eyes, unable to look at Derek. It was enough hard to see his face every morning and pretend that everything was fine. Pretend that she was a happy woman, in love with her boyfriend, fully thankful for the good things in her life.

"I was the only one who ruined our relationship," her voice was broken, taken by tears.

Her eyes remained closed. Not seeing his expression, made the job much easier.

"Do not say that," he said softly, but certainly "None of this is your fault"

"You knew what you wanted. I fell in love with you and then smashed everything. And I've regretted it, Derek. Every day. Because ... God, this is pathetic, but honestly ... I'd rather be your slut than not to be anyone in your life "

Her heavy tears ran down her cheeks, then her breathing became more stirred with every word. That pain had been too long in her heart. Penelope knew there was no turning back.

She needed to come clean with her best friend as she would have done months ago.

"But I need to move on, learn how to live without you. And I want to love Sam, be in love with him ... and ... be happy but I can't do it"

"I'm so in love with you, I can hardly think about anything else. Every time his hands touch me, every damn time...Just think of how much I'd like to be with you again. And I know that right now, I'm the world's biggest bitch, because Sam is a wonderful man who doesn't deserve my fucking crumbs "

"Baby, don't cry, please" he whispered, moving his thumb across her wet cheeks "You are an amazing woman"

"I'm so sorry. Forgive me, but I couldn't help falling in love with you. You made me feel beautiful and loved and special and so many wonderful things ..."

Penelope felt his strong body embracing her, his mouth kissing every tear. His big hands stroked her sides, calming her desperate cries. But his closeness just caused a new outburst of emotions.

"Don't cry, sweetheart" he muttered, placing his hands around her face. A tender smile born from the corners of his mouth "I love you, too"

_**AN: There's still a bit of angst. Just a little ... I'm just saying (LOL) Anyway, thanks a lot for your reviews. I love you, guys!**_


	7. Losing Everything

I still own NOTHING

* * *

Penelope had suffered too many disappointments throughout her life. He'd said those same words before, giving them a fraternal meaning. Derek had the ability to make her heart beat, with both happiness and sadness. He could do anything with it because it was his. Her soul was his, her body was his. Every corner of her mind belonged to that man.

She took a deep breath, closing her eyes.

"Derek, don't pity me" Her voice sounded broken but firm. Penelope didn't want his compassion. She already had too much of it. "I don't want you to say things you don't feel just because you can't stand me crying"

Her body quickly felt his warmth loss. He stood up, placing himself in front of her. His eyes widened, nailing on her face. "Is that what you think of me?"

If the situation had been less painful for her, maybe she'd have laughed. His words seemed like a bad joke.

_Is that what you think of me?_

He had refused her love. He left her behind, half-naked and crying about their break up.

He said not once, but twice, the ugly truth. 'I am not in love with you'.

Apparently, everything changed when Sam came into her life, stealing his territory. Derek couldn't figure out his own feelings, he didn't realize that it was not love, but a habit.

He was used to her, to be her guardian angel, her hero, her rock. He had lost his privileged place in her life.

"Penelope"

She smiled, but her eyes were heavy with tears. "You don't love me"

Derek scowled as he walked slowly toward her. He seemed hopeless, looking for words with which define his feelings, desperate for one last chance. He looked like a completely different man.

But he quickly recovered his pride. His gestures hardened again, his eyes no longer seemed the one of a wounded man. Derek returned to be the confident, unshakable man she knew.

"I'm sorry," he shook his head slowly, letting out a little laugh. "I think I got carried away by ..." his voice was silent for a little time "this whole situation"

"I know" Penelope promised herself that she'd not cry. After all, she had her pride. Although it was crushed, and wounded by him. "I'm going to bed"

He gave a slight nod, before flopping down on the couch. His eyes followed her silhouette as she walked to her room. He'd have it all. In fact, her heart belonged to him once. Her heart was still loving him. But she couldn't trust him.

And he couldn't help but think how ironic life was. She was so important in his life, he couldn't risk losing her. He couldn't risk having a relationship with her. If that didn't work out well they could fall apart.

And he needed her. He couldn't lose her smile. He didn't risk anything, but nonetheless, he lost everything.

* * *

FOUR MONTHS LATER

* * *

Derek stood behind the last bench, his eyes focused on nothing. Twenty minutes ago, he couldn't take off his eyes from Penelope. She looked really beautiful, just like a bride should look. She seemed happy, too.

"This church is perfectly decorated" a male voice said behind him, getting closer "With all those flowers and bows... It's pretty encouraging, right? Suddenly, you feel like getting married"

"Yes, I was thinking the same thing" he replied sarcastically, not turning to look at the man.

Brian stood by his side, watching the tightness of his face. His brown eyes looked at his saddened eyes.

"Since when are you in love with my sister?"

He laughed without humor, shaking his head. "I'm not in love with Penelope. She is a wonderful woman and she deserves all the best. I'm really happy for her"

"Are you happy? Excuse me, man. But you seem anything but happy" Brian patted his back, before looking for a place to sit. Derek chose to leave the church.

"You're not going to do anything, do you?" Spencer wondered looking into his eyes.

"She's happy. End of story" He looked up from the sidewalk, "Go back inside"

Spencer swallowed, a little nervous. "As a behavior analyst, you lie badly. No one is happy here. Here's just a coward. A ridiculous coward who prefers to swallow his feelings rather than fighting"

Derek tightened his jaw furiously, whispering in obvious rage "Nobody asked your fucking opinion, Spencer. Move your skinny ass away from me and leave me alone"

Placing a yellow rose in the lapel of his black jacket, Spencer came back into the church. Derek stood there, trying to hold back his bitter tears.

* * *

**Don't worry, here's a happy ending. I promise it. **

**Thank you very much for your reviews and alerts. Right now I have no internet, only from cyber cafes. So I have just long enough to update and comment on other fics. Hope you understand. **

**From Monday to Thursday I can answer all of your reviews, and update two fics at once.**

**Anyway, thanks for your patience with me!**

**-GeekGirl88-**


	8. Morgan Loves You

**-I Don't Own Anything-**

* * *

She drew a deep breath, her eyes flooded with tears. Penelope touched her wedding dress with trembling fingers. That would be the happiest day in her life. Or at least it should have been.

A woman dream about her wedding day starting from their fifth birthday. Well, she really never dreamed of that. She wanted to be a warrior woman, fighting evil and touring the world. Out of her mouth escaped a faint laugh. She really was someone else.

"Just you and me right here. All of other people have already left"

The deep voice of her big brother resounded in the church. Penelope gave him a gentle smile as he sat down beside her. Brian stroked her blond bangs. "You look gorgeous, Pen"

"That does not matter" her gaze turned sad "I'm a heartless bitch"

Brian shook his head, chuckling. His sister had said it with such conviction, that if he had not known her so well, maybe he had believed her words.

But Penelope was no a heartless bitch. She was a sweet, loving woman and her heart was really huge. She was all kindness. But nobody could manage their own feelings. And his sister certainly didn't love the man.

Yes she cared about Sam. Maybe she even believed her own lie by confusing affection with love. But Penelope wasn't in love. At least not with her fiance.

Brian saw a bride hesitant while everyone waited to hear her vow. Her eyes were tinged with sadness. In her look there was no love, just regret. Her soft voice broke the silence that had inside the church 'I can't do it.' Sam looked at her without blinking for a few seconds before running out of that place.

"You're not" he whispered as he kissed her cheek. "Better a painful truth than a life full of lies"

Penelope nodded slowly, leaning her head on his shoulder. Her blonde hair was shining on his brother's black jacket. He laced their fingers, but didn't say a word. She was grateful for that. But there was one question that kept hammering her brain "Did you see Sam?"

"No. The last time I saw him, he was talking with his father"

"He didn't deserve that," she said, releasing a sad sigh, "No one deserves that '

Brian shrugged, "Well, no one deserves a loveless marriage"

She gave him a smile but her face remained sad, though. "Can I ask you a question?"

Her heart sped up slightly. She knew too well his brother. Penelope gulped, nodding her head slowly.

"Are you in love with Morgan?"

She pretended to be surprised, even though in her heart she knew that her brother was going to ask about Derek at some point. His blue eyes looked at her expectantly, waiting for an answer. For a moment, she thought about lying. Burst out laughing and then say _'it's the silliest thing you've said in your life'._

But Penelope really had no strength.

"Am I that transparent?" she asked almost desperately, burying her face in her hands. But the honest answer of him, made her open her eyes.

"It's written all over your face" Brian chuckled softly. "And in his as well. What a pair of idiots"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

He really wanted to burst out laughing. She'd her big brown eyes open wide, his eyebrows raised in surprise, a look identical to that of their late mother. His hand gently grabbed his sister's chin "How can you be so blind?" he whispered, still smiling at her, "That man is crazy about you"

"What you're talking about!" she didn't want to yell at her brother, but he'd beaten her Achilles heel. Derek didn't love her. Not in any different way from the one than he loved his sisters.

He stated it very clearly. He was ready to let her marry another man.

Brian clenched his jaw, his thumbs stroking the wet cheeks of his little sister. She embraced him and buried her face into his chest. "Penelope, I know this is very hard for you," he whispered, still holding her "But your pride is not gonna make you happier. And yes, that man-"

"He isn't in love with me!" she cried, moving away of him "He turned me down, Brian. I-I confessed to him my fucking love and that bastard turned me down!"

"And I'm sure he regrets it every day. Jeez, Pen. He didn't even stay to see your wedding"

"What?"

"Morgan left here right when you walked by that door" Brian smiled as he whispered "In these moments, he'll be in his house, believing you're another man's wife"

Penelope looked at her brother as her mind wondered over and over again 'Derek is in love with me?'

* * *

**AN: Hey People! Thanks a lot for your reviews, alerts and favorites. I know this is too short but I'm in a hurry. Sorry :(**

**Anyway, hope you liked it!**

**-GeekGirl88-**


	9. The Truth

_Hey! Well, here's final chapter. Thank you so much for your reviews, favorites and simply for reading this. Hope you have enjoyed this fic._

_-GeekGirl88-_

**-I Own Nothing-**

* * *

His living room was plunged into darkness, only the faint glow of the moon glowed within those four walls. Derek closed his eyes, trying to fall asleep.

He placed a hand on his sweaty forehead and sighed deeply. Why was it so difficult to cope with his reality? Why he could not even find a bit of peace?

_There are hundreds, thousands of women in the world _he thought as his heart beat crazy _She is just a woman. _

But the truth was very different. Penelope was not just a woman. She was 'the woman'.

His best friend could enlighten a room with a smile. Her cheerful way of living life, always seeing the good in everything and everyone. Her love cured all the scars of his soul, because she always loved him.

She loved and respected to the true Derek Morgan. That man who had nightmares, the one who had open wounds and even showed weakness at some point.

It was easy to love the hero, but she loved everything about him. His brave side and his fragile side.  
Now, she was going to love another man. Someone who was not him, someone had stolen him her love. Derek laughed bitterly.

Sam didn't steal her love. He lost it by himself.

_I'll find another woman _Derek told himself _I'll find someone else._

His eyes watered and a single tear rolled down his cheek. Of course he could find someone else. He would marry this not known woman. He would have children with her. Someday. But at that moment, Derek could do nothing to ease the pain in his heart.

He heard a faint knock on the door.

He was in no mood for smiles and deep conversations. "Fuck off" he muttered, shifting his position on the couch.

Then he heard the lock turning and his heart started beating crazy. His breath caught in his throat. No, she couldn't be there...

Derek shot up from the couch and ran to the door. There she was, with keys in her hand and a weak smile.

"What are you doing here?" he asked with a frown, "Why are you here?"

Penelope said nothing. She closed the door behind her and leaned her back against the wood. Her hazel eyes were slightly red, as if she had spent the last hours crying like a little girl.

Derek looked at her intently, but also with confusion. She was not wearing a wedding dress, she no longer looked happy and radiant.

Her green dress ended just above her knees and her hair was loose, even a little messy. However, she was still beautiful.

"Do you love me?"

He didn't know how many times he had heard those words escape from her mouth. But this time, her voice was not broken or wrapped in tears.

"With my whole soul"

Derek was never a liar. But that truth it tasted better than any other. Because that was his truth.

"Why do not you say anything?"

His eyes closed for several seconds. He grabbed her hand and brought it to his mouth.

"I dumped you, Penelope" his breath caressed her knuckles, then she felt his lips on her fingers "I'd no right to ask you anything"

Penelope smiled but the tears kept wetting her pale skin. He cupped her face in his hands, stroking her cheeks with his thumbs. "Don't cry, please"

He looked through her eyes. They did not seem sad, but relieved.

"I almost married another man"

"I'm sorry I left the church" he whispered "Couldn't take it"

Maybe it was not the right time, but Derek has been good with speeches or to put words to his feelings. After all, he was a man of action.

His mouth caught her trembling lips in a silent declaration of love. Derek sighed with relief when he felt her relaxing in his arms, as if that were her only place in the world. Then, only then, he broke the kiss and rested his forehead against hers.

"Give me another chance" Derek whispered against her lips, "Let me show you I can make you happy, give you everything you want. Dates, engagement, marriage, kids, a huge house and holidays in Disneyland"

Penelope kissed him slightly, still smiling "Love me. That's everything I need"

"I don't know do anything else, baby girl"

* * *

_Hey! I hope you liked this final chapter. Anyway, I have thought of writing a one-shot with some date or their wedding or whatever LOL_

I want to write a crossover 'Criminal Minds - any show'  
The options are:  
-Game of Thrones  
-Once upon a time  
-The Following.

You can give your opinion in a review, PM or in the poll :)  
thank you!


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